unconsolable

ketika kesedihan itu datang tanpa diundang.
Melanda hebat tanpa bisa dikendalikan,
Tak kuasa bulir-bulir airmataku berjatuhan.

Tak perduli waktu, tempat dan di manapun aku berada, ranah pribadi maupun publik.

Terus berjatuhan…….
Tak kuasaku sembunyikan.
Tak mampuku hentikan.


Commuter Line
10.47
04/16/2013

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Keeping my sanity

I’m exhausted dealing with these crazy people. I thought, by ignoring and not responding every time they pulled their stunts, it will stop them. boy, I was so wrong. they never know when they should stop.

I really don’t care with what they do or have in life. As long as they stay far far away from mine. I was quite surprised when they started harassing me. Because I dont put them in my brain anymore. There’s nothing good to remember about them.

For me now, I just try to live my life as it is. I’m grateful with what I have. Good friends who always there when I need it and will smack my head if I start losing my way.

I’m also far from perfect. but who does?

I’m a working progress. everyday I’m trying to be a better person and I’m also a true believer of changing for the better, not for the worse.

Apparently, it goes the other way around for them. I mean, they are rich, happily married, and the picture of happy family. people would love to have their lives. that should be enough, shouldn’t  it? Especially when you already have children.

I guess not.

If you ask, why they love to stalk other people and probably this blog too, I would answer, I have no idea.

They are the people who loves to comment, you’re so pathetic to other people. Maybe, they should take look at themselves in the mirror closely before they said pathetic to someone else. who is the pathetic one? me or you? people who loves sniffing around, preying and stalking. eewwww… sick!!

My love one suggested, ” just ignore them, sweety. you dont have to respond to lunatics. you are better than that.”

I know… *sigh*

Trying not to burst in tears. Trying to keep my sanity.

Ikatan hati

kata teman-temanku, aku harus belajar untuk sabar dan ikhlas.

*sigh* mereka benar.

karena ketika aku memutuskan untuk mengikhlaskan dan benar-benar melepaskanmu… aku mulai merasakan bahwa ikatan hati antara kau dan aku perlahan-lahan tapi pasti mulai terurai.

aku tak lagi terlalu merindukanmu. tak lagi merasakan kegelisahan, rasa was was serta ketakutan yang tak beralasan saat kau jauh dariku. semuanya terasa lebih alami dan mengalir begitu saja.

aku juga belajar sabar untuk menerima dan mencoba mengerti bahwa segala sesuatunya membutuhkan waktu dan memerlukan proses. baik cepat ataupun lambat, namun tetap akan ada prosesnya. kita harus bersabar.

sekarang, aku hanya dapat mendoakan, semoga kau menemukan yang lebih baik dan kalian bisa saling membahagiakan satu sama lain.

sedangkan aku, mungkin masih perlu menangis satu kali lagi…. untuk benar-benar melepaskan ikatan hati ini, sehingga benar-benar terurai dan lepas.

tol jagorawi, April 1st, 2013
22.56