Dear stalkers…

Did you know that….

As we grow older, we don’t lose friends. We just learn who the real ones are. Cause between most of my friends and I, our friendships are at least longer than 10 years. Well, it wasnt always smooth. there were ups and downs. sometimes we got mad to each other and we had a fight. but we got through it. Those fights are our way to compromise and adjust our differences. Now, even though we are living in different cities, countries even continents. It doesnt mean, we dont talk each other or keep in touch anymore. Many ways to communicate now. 

The bond is getting stronger. there is always be little ripples from time to time. but thats always exist in any relationships. not only with friends but further more with our significant other. I feel sorry for you. Because you are the real forms of fake friends. I never thought it exist. but it did. At least I know I have real friends and you dont. It makes me wonder. Fake friends are easy come and easy go. They normally buy their friendship because they just can have it in a normal way. 


very sad indeed. I still hope all the best for you, though.


What matters most

I’ve learned the hard way to lower my expectations on people I care about. When things turn sour and communications go bad between me and my friends, I’ve stopped asking, “Why is this happening? Does s/he hate me? Is it really me or him/her? What should do to make things better?”

Nowadays, I still try to do what I can do to fix things, but I’m no longer a person that would do whatever it takes to make things work with others. I trust my judgment instead of questioning it.

Things change.

People move on.

I must let go.

May it be the distance that comes in between, the priorities that has different selection and judgment, or whatever the cause is…

I keep telling myself, “Nothing stays the same.”

I’ve learned not to expect much.

I’ve learned not to demand updates and news.

I have to face the fact that sometimes it’s okay to be the last one to know, or perhaps to not know anything. I’ve learned not to care.

Yet, when it comes to family, it really breaks my heart to stay silent, to be not knowing, to keep closed eyes and ears. I’m far from them, I know that. But I still put them on my top priorities. No matter how busy I am with work, with my own problems, with my personal life, I’m still resolute that my family comes first. I don’t want to be a person who takes her family for granted.

So when someone in the family that I care so much said, “You don’t have to know everything. You’re not here. You don’t understand what’s been happening….”

I could not do anything, but cry in silence.

I had never, ever, felt so alone in my life before.

I don’t believe in many things, but I still believe in sharing things with family, with taking care of each other, with opening the door of time a little even though life demands pressing on my back.

Is that really, too much to ask?


a friend asked, why does my blog contents now have more photos than actual post, which is me writting things? the answer is simple. because I have 2 crazy fans who love to stalk me. Since they are banned from my facebook. They cant see my twitter, path, or instagram either…, they will definitely stalk this blog. Thats why I’m still selecting which post should be publish and which post shouldnt. Besides, I’ve already put the link in my facebook anyway, so all of my friends in my list can open and access this blog too. I have nothing to hide.

For me, I couldnt care less about their lives. Actually, I dont give sh*t about them anymore. But apparently, because I dont give sh*t about them, maybe that what bugs them. I’m going to put my bet that those people already open my blog again. But what I really wanna see if they actually going to give comment with their favourite word, “pathetic”. Of course, they never had guts to put their actual name when they were commenting about others.

I’m going to wait and see.

(not) Talented

I know a guy who loves to brag, critize and telling people how idiot they are, about photography.

Im quite annoyed actually. Because he has mouth like a woman and zero talent. I’ve seen these kind of people way too many.

I’ve never seen his actual “great photos” taken by him. none.

I always tell people, there’s a big difference between able to buy expensive camera and actually have talent. Because people with money can afford to buy camera, but talent? There’s no store sell that.

If I want to brag, I can say that I am more talented that him. He can shut the fuck up. Because with my tiny camera and my phone, I can create better pictures than him. With his big camera and a proper training, I can go further.

That is the difference. I have the artsy eyes and sense. He doesnt. Should stop bragging until he proves me otherwise.