Sleepy, Lazy …

It’s still cold and gloomy/sunny outside.  Honestly, I just don’t have any desire to even go out.

I have just went home from the hospital and have to wait there for about an hour or so. I hate waiting …

I still have to go to campus this afternoon, though … I have classes … arrgh … it’s so hard just to get my butt off from this sofa … too comfy. Surprisingly, I do like school life … but I don’t feel like being a good student at the moment … I wanna go out … I  need a break …  I need vacation or smallcation … the past two weeks were very tiring ones …

Well, actually … hubby and I are planning to hang out today …. not sure where we’re going to … we’re thinking of watching whatever films in Pathe or probably just trying new seafoodbar in Spui … I dunno … meanwhile, I just sit here, killing my time, writing this mindless blog …

I have several things wandering around my mind, but they’re too random to be written … in other words … I don’t know what to write … blah!

oh well, it’s 13.20 now … I’d better get ready to go to my school … hope y’all have a great day! cheerio!

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When it hurts, it just hurts

Sometimes kindness that people have, makes them forgot to mind their own business.

I’m always frightening with the things in the future that you have no control of. Because you just know, there is nothing that can prepare you for or from pain, regardless how many times it has happened to you before. Just because you’ve been hurt or walked down the road of broken dreams before, it doesn’t mean that you won’t cry when that road shoved right before your very eyes again. Some people seem to think that just because a person is strong, then that person can withstand anything.

What is the definition of strong, anyway?

Some of us believe that it’s better to hurt those who we think can stand tall while taking the blow, rather than hurting others who we deem weaker. Some even sacrifice their own happiness and dreams while doing this.

Mere justification? You tell me.

Let’s go back to the pain. As I said, nothing can prepare you for or from pain. When it hurts, it just hurts. Sometimes, when the pain is so unbearably bad, all you can do is give yourself a space or for some religious friends, maybe leave it up to the big man upstairs to ease the pain away. Because you know, no matter how much comfort you get from those around you, only you know what’s going on inside. In this instance, maybe it’s best to let time take over and do its job of helping you to let go.

Losing part of you again is always the hardest. I wish I could say that everything is going to be alright because I know it won’t be for a while. I cant tell myself that I have to be strong because even though I’m smiling to the world, deep down inside, I’m not. Cry. Cry as hard as I could. Because that is the only thing, I could do for now.

Amsterdam, March 29, 2018

Feeling uninspired

I have a writer’s block. I have been staring my laptop screen, and cant move pass the first paragraph. It kinda sucks because this paper has a significant portion of my grades. I told the professor that I felt uninspired. Not only by the topics but also with the whole shitty subject. He just felt sorry for me because I have to pass the class in order to be able to obtain my diploma in the summer. So, I can move on to a better school.

It’s sunny here in Amsterdam. So I decided to pack my bag, laptop, and all my reading materials and find a place to park my ass in the city where I can sit, enjoy the weather and doing what I do best. People watching. Hopefully, I can get some inspiration to write something on my paper.

At this moment, I am just scrambling my mind and writing whatever on my blog.

I hope I can meet the deadline…

Lenong sore

L : Boss, I just threw away the ingredients and spices that is already expired in the cabinet. Some already expired back to 2008.

————- no answer (nothing’s new there)—————-

R : Well, spices dont expire sweety. Leave them, they dont kill. hahahaha

L : (get a bit aggitate to it. took pictures as proof) Look, its 2008. You’re kidding me right? its ancient stuffs you got here.

R : so???? keep them.

L : ( I really wanted to smack his head. Felt like talking to a monkey. but I gave up. before it went further)… okay, I keep them. Happy now ?

R : Wine from 1964 is brilliant (still trying to convince me)

L : Thats wine and that’s different. Okay, I will keep all those spices and ingredients. I will use it for your salmon tonight. Let’s see if you still alive tomorrow.

R : ( no answer. I’m 100% sure that on the otherside, he’s grumpy)